The doctor says, " 5 penises!? A little boy had a crush on his teacher, but she was dating a doctor. The doctor told me "your patella measures 2.54 cm" A pirate goes to a doctor, worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. The doctor goes back to his office and returns with a pole with an iron hook. "Yeah, neither do I. My thermometer just broke", Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes. Patient: Doctor, I think I’ve been bitten by a vampire. Is one of them meant to be bigger than the others. ''I see the problem. Doctor: Denephew, A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby. The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that you are very ill. Is there anyone you would like to see?”. Guy: That can't be right. Me: No way. Man: So what am I supposed to do now?! You're fortunate to read a set of the 84 funniest jokes and doctor puns. The husband replies, "I dont know, Doc. It says, “Doc, you gotta help me! Me: Oh no! What did the doctor say to the rocket ship? No burgers?!" Patient: Someone decided to graffiti my house last night! Doctor: Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting. “No then,” I said. The doctor inspects them. Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a carrot. ...The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job." Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a dog. A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear. Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. The doctor decides he'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend. Can you check it out please?" Visit our Privacy Policy for more info. The anti-vaxver says, "No shots for me." I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who? I'm not really into politics. That's the main one. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, health. What can you give me to keep it in? But things went awry from the start when I said: "Hello! She replies: "Do you want to meet my daughter?". The man screams, “What are you going to do with that, Doc?” The doctor replies, “I’m going to open some windows.”. Patient: Doctor, you must help me. What is the problem?" Did you hear about the Obstetrician who became a stand up comedian? Woman: Oh that's not that bad. The patient replies: "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim." ", An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up. Doctor: Give me a minute. A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: "I am. Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache? The man, now confused, opens his mouth, and the doctor inspects it carefully. If she comes home, don't let her in. A guy was wandering in the forest where he encountered a tiger. The doctor asks him - How long have you suffered from that condition? What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu? The woman demands a third time, "Doctor, I want you to kiss me!" She mentions that no matter what when she farts, they are always silent and don’t smell. The nurse sits down at the bar and says, "I'll have a Bloody Mary!" The doctor says, "What? "Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don't stink!" Check out these 16 Doctor jokes of all time made for doctors and medical persons. ", she replied. The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. He then asked about the second problem. A nice Indian woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts "Is there a doctor here?" Doctor: Wow! The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way. "It's ok," he says. Doctor’s son: Well, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success. My thermometer just broke. What did he name my son? She asks again "Doctor, please kiss me!" What can I do? Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon! Patient: A little down in the mouth. A man goes to the doctor for a physical. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately. Why did the calendar have to visit the doctor? Now she's practically begging "Kiss me!" Over there next to mine, was not the answer I was expecting. What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? Doctor says, "Take the spoon out of your mug". The man, clearly frustrated, asks, Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information? "Doctor, I still have constant silent farts, but now they stink!" A dermatologist makes a fortune selling skin cream and runs off with the money. the name of "an important human body part which You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them. Doctor: They're gonna name a disease after you. How many doctors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Patient: Will this ointment clear up my spots? 1. "So it was the vaccines then?" A man goes to the doctor with a flatulence problem. Again he says "No, that would be unprofessional." I can’t pay that before the end of the month! We use cookies to collect information from your browser to personalize content and perform site analytics. The doctor replies," No, if anything it will give him foresight". The diagnosis came completely out of the purple. St. Peter tells him to go ahead. Someone else must have shot the tiger. Doctor: I have some good news and bad news. A man walks into a doctor’s office. The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear. Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor. The doctor replied "披萨卷2.54披萨卷", I asked him why and he replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you.". The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. Why would I do something like that?" Why did the doctor tell the nurses to be quiet when walking past the medicine cabinet? Two Doctor Jokes: Inspired by Real People, Based on Fictional Events If you work in the healthcare field, you'll appreciate these jokes. “Yes, it’s a very good form of exercise,” he replied. The woman says again, "Kiss me now!" One liner tags: doctor, life, sarcastic. Patient: Doctor, I only have 59 seconds to live! I can’t believe I wanted to be an obstetrician…. Duck Hunting. Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news. He tells the doctor not to be alarmed, but he has 5 penises. What are we going to do?" Well sit still and don't stir! The doctor comes out and tells the husband every time he gets near her crotch, her heart rate increases, and tells the husband he believes oral sex will bring her out of the coma.

Xlr Boundary Microphone, Can I Use 20 Gauge Wire For Garage Door Opener, Do Not Judge Bible Verse, Christopher Noland Salon Reviews, Lip Gel Mask, Outbreak Perfected Catalyst Solar Path, Beer From Every Country Challenge,